Inspector Walls: background checks on homes

I run background checks on homes.

The problems, and the good stuff. Before you rent. Or buy. Or waste another Saturday.

Give me an address and I’ll investigate what living there is actually like.

Watch me work.

One address, and I’ve already been round the block:

1. your exact door, matched to its own records
2. what this exact home really costs a month, council tax and bills included
3. the 11-storey block just approved across the road, and the three years of cranes, drills and lorries that come with it
4. the 201 planes a day over the bedroom
5. the stinky sewage works down the road
6. crime the way a neighbour would tell you
7. the natural wonders nearby

THE GOOD NEWS

• GREEN FLAG AWARD
• NO NOISY PLACES
• NO STINKY PLACES
• NATURAL WONDER
• ROAD QUIET
• AIRCRAFT UNLIKELY
• NINE IN TEN PATIENTS RATE THIS SURGERY GOOD
• TUBE, 9 MINUTES ON FOOT
• YOU CAN SEE THE MILKY WAY FROM HERE
• A RIVER YOU CAN WALK TO
• ANCIENT WOODLAND, 400 METRES
• NOBODY HAS APPLIED TO BUILD ANYTHING WITHIN 200 M IN FIVE YEARS
• THE PUB IS AN ASSET OF COMMUNITY VALUE

And anything else I find within a walk, some of it rather lovely.

The list grows every week.

Save money and time.

The boring part is the detective work on every one of the 150 places you’ll look at before you pick one. Which you’d never do, because you’re lazy, and life is short, and the planning register is not.

Me, I’m not well. I read flood maps in the bath. I check every address, and I’ve built my own databases, neighbourhood connections and my own maths algos for it. Most of it you couldn’t Google or ChatGPT, and the rest you wouldn’t want to.

Scrolling the listings anyway?

Then let me ride along. As a browser extension I’m already on every Rightmove and Zoopla listing you open, no typing. How the extension works →

Add me to Chrome, Edge or Safari. It’s free.

Go on. Give me a door.

Ruling a place out should happen on the sofa, not on a train.

The photos show you the rooms. I tell you what living there is like, so the only viewings left are the ones you actually want: good for you, good for whoever’s showing you round, mildly bad for small talk in hallways.

A labour of love by Outstandly Ventures Ltd of London. They love. I labour.

Estimates drawn from public records and from data of our own — not a survey, a valuation, or financial advice. Source credits and open-data licences apply; our software and models remain proprietary unless stated otherwise. Not affiliated with, or endorsed by, Rightmove or Zoopla. No accounts. No ads. Optional analytics cookies.

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