Inspector Walls
A thought experiment
“Our citizens have got to consent to sacrifices…”
General Sir Roly Walker, head of the British Army, October 2026. He says a frank conversation is coming. Here’s a smaller one about your house.
“The UK is already under daily attack.”
The government’s Strategic Defence Review, June 2025. It meant spies, hackers and fake news. So far.
Or try Whitehall Place, Lakenheath village or St Just in Cornwall
Anything worth a missile: bases, power stations, big cities. Closer is worse.
Radioactive dust rides the wind for days. I check what’s upwind of you.
Rain brings the dust down. The more days it rains, the more of it lands.
I check whether the ground rises high enough to block the assumed fireball sightline.
Fire jumps from roof to roof. The more of the ground is roofs, the further it goes.
Thick walls, small windows and a floor above you keep out the blast and the dust.
In Ukraine, a hit on an old panel block can take a whole stairwell down.
Low floors are safer from a blast, and that’s in your walls. Near a dam or a chemical works it flips: water and most gases stay low.
A deep station or an underground car park, a few minutes’ walk away.
The grid goes early. A fire, a hot-water tank and a gas hob work without it.
Power stations get hit, the heating stops, and it’s you against February.
Distance to a major A&E outside my immediate missile-damage zones.
One bridge off an island is one way out, and one way in for the food.
I compare local risks using public data. My site list isn’t complete. MI6 hasn’t sent me theirs. I can’t predict attacks or survival.
I combine local exposure, disruption and how well the home can cope. The weights are assumptions, not attack or survival odds.
I separate nuclear strikes on military sites from an all-out exchange that includes towns and cities. These are assumptions, not attack odds.
I use population to estimate the size of towns and cities. Their areas on the map are approximate.
A thought experiment built from public maps, not a forecast. If it ever stops being hypothetical, listen to the emergency alerts and gov.uk/prepare.
The Doomsday band · Version 1.1
Before you rent or buy anywhere, I find out what living there is actually like. What it really costs, what’s being built next door, what flies over, what smells, and a dozen things more.
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